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August 6, 2010, at 1:28 am — Blogs | Guest Blogs | Uncategorized

A billionaire? yes, please!

Not only is this a fun song- which is really is- but it also sums up a desire that I think most Americans have- to be rich, and live a fabulous life.

Count me in!
I’m not gonna deny it, I crave wealth, like most. I’m not afraid to admit it and sound shallow and materialistic and lame. I take full ownership of this desire. Money is power and control. The more  you have of one, usually the more you have of the other. I would love to have power and control. Power over things I want to do in the world. Control of how I spend my time.

In following the theme of utter honesty in regard to my shameless desire to have money, let me say this: I will do NOTHING of value for the first month of being disgustingly rich. I will sit around, eat food prepared for me by a gourmet chef, workout with my personal trainer, and make messes cleaned up by someone else. I will pay each of these people very well to put up with my total lack of self motivation. I will buy some crap I don’t need, but want anyway, and pay large fees to do so. I will end up living in a house with rooms I barely use, and a wet bar for parties. I will have more TVs then humans in my house, and a large ass sound system that barely ever gets used.

I propose that after about a month of that, I’ll get really bored and try to figure out what to do with myself now that I’m free to do whatever I want without regard for how much I get paid. I’ll probably work with animals, and the arts. Do things that I always wanted to do, but never had time, or finances to support. Volunteering, and sponsoring, and doing for the sake of adding to the world- those will end up being my career of choice.

Now, how am I gonna get this wealth…… That remains the problem. You see, its actually very difficult to become wealthy. Winning the lotto is a shady option at best, but I still try by buying a ticket every once in a while. You’re welcome winners- my $5 helped you amass wealth I crave!

My other option is to become a faux celebrity- because I live in LA and that’s about half the population it seems. The problem is, I have a normal body type (read: hips, boobs, thighs) and am no longer 19 yrs old (read: mid thirties, and mostly ok with that fact) so my window of opportunity there might have closed already.
Working hard and earning promotions and therefore higher paychecks is what remains for me. Again, I live in LA- the entertainment capital of the world. Hard work and good ethics actually seem to slow down the process here. This road to wealth seems a long and arduous one, which may never get me what I want.

I’m taking applications for sponsorships- any wealthy person who doesn’t have upstanding children who deserve tons of money with no effort- Hey, I’m your girl! I’ll stay steadfast and true until you decide I’ve earned it and then take as much money as you’re willing to give.

Until one of these paths pan out, or I suddenly become able to sing with a voice that can not be denied by any age group, I’ll keep living within my means, and making smart financial choices. I’ll still occasionally enter contests I know I won’t win, in the hopes that I’m wrong. I’ll still wear my clothes until they become embarrassing so as to not spend money I don’t need to. I’ll still set money aside for my retirement. But man, I want to be a billionaire so frikkin’ bad……


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